Birthdays mean presents and big shot food chains practically beg you to come by to get a treat. There’s no such thing as corporate kindness, it’s all a marketing scheme, but hey, FREE SHIT!!!
Here are the coupons I collected this year.
Jersey Mike’s offers a free regular sub and drink on your birthday. Of all the coupons I received, this was the only one that was only valid on my actual birthday, so I stopped by on my very strict 30 minute lunch break (s/o to power-tripping receptionists) and picked up an original Italian sandwich on rosemary bread and a fountain drink. Luckily, there’s a Jersey Mike’s right across the street from my office, so I made it back in time. Phew.
Veggie Grill offers a buy one, get one deal that expires one week after your birthday. I tried Veggie Grill a while back and learned the hard way that this is a vegan-only establishment. A pretty overpriced one for the quality of food, in my opinion. Free, or half off in this case, is a price I can get down with though, so I’ll be stopping by next week.
I’ve only been here once before and didn’t find the price to quantity/quality ratio a good value. Until now! You get a free burrito on your birthday, all you have to do is buy a large drink. I can live with that. This offer expires 7 days after your birthday.
Which Wich offers a free 7” sandwich for your birthday and you get two weeks to claim it. Which Wich isn’t my favorite sandwich place, but free is my favorite price and sandwiches are my favorite food, so this can’t be anything but a positive experience.
I’m super into Pieology. It’s an assembly line pizza chain, but for a great price. You can pick one of their preselected pizza options, or pile on anything you want for a whopping $7.95. I can be a pizza snob, but I haven’t really had a woodfired pizza I hated and this is no exception. Except it’s like half the price of a pizza at 800 Degrees. For your birthday, they offer you a BOGO deal and you have three weeks to claim it. This can last you two or three days, although it obviously tastes best fresh, so maybe hit up a friend if you have one and make them buy you pizza. I mean, it’s your birthday month, after all.
Pollo Loco offers a free chicken tostada or chicken dinner with a month to claim it. I can get down with this. The first time I stopped by Pollo Loco, I tried their chicken..since it’s in the name and all. I got this confused with Los Pollos Hermanos a lot. You know, Gus’s joint from Breaking Bad. I’ve passed enough of them in the three years that I’ve lived in LA that I got it right. Anyway, I wasn’t really into the chicken. I’m kinda picky with my chicken and this wasn’t hitting the spot. Second time I tried it, I went for a burrito. Pretty disappointing, as well. When I moved into my current place, I started getting coupons in the mail. So I gave it a third try and went for a $5 tostada. This did not disappoint. I am all about Pollo Loco’s tostadas. So thank you, Pollo Loco, for this wonderful birthday gift.
3oz of free froyo, go figure. I do love me some froyo tho. I’d even go so far to say it’s my favorite dessert. I won’t always be down for some cookies, but I’ll hardly say no to froyo.
I didn’t know that IHOP stood for “International House of Pancakes” for an embarrassingly long time. I used to stop by for free pancake day in high school, but I don’t think I’ve been back since. Breakfast isn’t really my jam and I never really want to go to IHOP, you know? But if you’re into it and you like free shit (and I mean, come on, who doesn’t?), they offer a stack of Rooty Tooty Fresh n’ Fruity pancakes. So go get em’, tiger. You get two weeks to claim em’ (from the week before your birthday to the week after).
Jack In The Box
Okay, this one’s just sad. Jack in the Box offers two free tacos with any purchase during your birthday week. Yes, that’s right, you can get those vile tacos that are two for a dollar for free with any purchase. If you really wanna get a bang for your buck, you can buy two tacos for a dollar and get these two for free, which will leave you with four whole Jack in the Box tacos for $1. If you’re into it, power to ya. I’m not trying to diss Jack in the Box. Those late night munchie meals are bomb. But, like, come on. Try harder.